Keeping the Sacred Flame

I’m incredibly frightened of anyone that wants *power*.  It has always struck me as a dangerous desire.  Power to do something, power over something, power with a purpose, that I understand.  Power in and of itself?  That’s a very dangerous thing.

There are far more things I can’t lead on than I can.  I doubt I could ever be a political figure, simply because my mind isn’t organized enough.  (and, sure, I could work on it, but I’d be miserable.  And who’d write my fiction?)  But that doesn’t mean that what political figures do in my name isn’t important.  I have to do what I can to make sure what they do in my name is what *I* want instead of what *they* want.  That doesn’t mean they only listen to me, of course.  But my voice matters, and if I don’t use it, only other people’s voices matter.  And I am responsible for a choice I might disagree with.

Questions:
What do I not lead on and why?  Far more than I do lead on.  Mostly because I’m busy, I’ve got a child, and I don’t like doing a lot of interaction with people.  Leading face to face scares me, and I’m not very organized, so I’m always afraid I’ll make a mess.  Doing things like I do now, with the blog and the writing, fits my skills much better.  But I still pay attention and try to make sure what’s done in my name is something I agree with.

What kind of follower am I?  I’m not a good follower either.  I tend to open my mouth and say what I think regardless of where I am or how wise it is to speak up.  If I see the point of doing something a particular way, I’ll do it, but I need to understand why first.  There’s very few times I will simply obey without questions.

What would I give over leadership on?  I’m not sure.  There was a while I would have said FlameKeeping, because it’s a lot of work and rather intimidating.  But I think I’ve grown into it.  I could share leadership, I think, but I don’t think I could give it over.  It’s too much of what I am now.  As far as what I look for in a leader?  Competence.  If you’re competent, I’ll forgive a lot.  If you’re not competent, I don’t care how nice you are.  (it’s another reason I’m picky in what I lead in.  I really don’t want to be incompetent myself!)

There is a constant emphasis in our society on leading. We encourage people to lead, celebrate people that are in the public eye, and speak poorly of those that take on supporting roles.

While there is a need for people to lead, there is also a need to know where you are going if you are standing in front. An encouragement to leadership without question of what one is leading is damaging both to the person leading and all those that end up following. It’s very easy to crave power. It’s much harder to focus only on the goal and see power only as the path, not the goal itself. Like money, power is good at confusing priorities.

What is being a good leader? It means knowing both where you are going and why you are going there. It’s not enough to want the power: there needs to be a concrete goal for that power to be used for. Power in and of itself is a false goal. When we neglect to use it correctly, it is still a use. Even if we try to deny the power we have, we are still using it by refusing it. It cannot be ignored.

What is following? Again, it is a choice that comes with responsibility. When you choose to follow another, you are giving support to the choices that person makes in your name. Choosing to follow cannot be a choice to push off your morality onto the other person, however. You choose to follow, but you make that choice every time you are asked to do something. It is not a choice made once and never again. It is a constant choice with every request, voiced or not.

Not everyone can lead. We are all limited in our scope of ability and attention, and some things need to be given to another to do. But that does not mean we should forget to pay attention to what is being done in our name. Nor should we ignore what we do in others’ names. Action breeds responsibility. Neglect that, and you have ignored your Flame completely.

Questions:
What do you not lead on? Why?
What kind of follower are you? Do you ask questions, or simply do as you are told? Does it vary depending on who’s asking?
What are you leading in that you would give over your leadership to another if you found someone worthy? What do you look for in a leader?

I have a very hard time believing that I have something to offer. It’s even harder when I’m the only one speaking.

The biggest example of this is FlameKeeping itself. There was no one else saying the things that demonstrated the truth of the universe as I saw it. There was no path out there that fit my feet. And it feels like hubris to say that of all the people out there, of all the people that have ever been, only *I* have found the truth. Who am I to find truth, above all the others out there?

At the same time, I have a truth. And I could have kept it to myself, and followed the path quietly and lightly and pretended to some other truth, or none at all, in public. I could have tried to hide this truth as too much, too complicated, and pretended I had nothing. But that would have denied the very truth I had found.  And that would be a lot more hubristic than speaking up.

Questions
What do I wish someone else would do and why?  I wish someone else would fix all kinds of things I see wrong in the world.  I wish it was easy.  But it’s not.

If I were to take up any cause, what would it be?  Well, other than FlameKeeping?   It would probably be poverty.  It’s crushing, and in many cases, it’s not necessary.  But the tools people need to get out of poverty frequently aren’t available.  Simple things like transportation from one place to another becomes impossible when you can’t afford a car and the bus routes are anything but simple.  But I don’t know any solutions, much as I wish I did.  So I leave that for people better qualified, and hope to hell they know what they’re doing.

Can I be a lone voice in the wilderness?  Well, I am one.  And other voices have found me, so it’s not as lonely as it was.  But it’s hard.  I’d be lying if I said anything else.

That doesn’t make it not necessary, though.

It’s hard to start things. We see things that are wrong, and then we look around for someone else to start moving. We want to join, but we don’t want to lead. Or we want to lead, but we don’t care about the topic.

Sometimes things need to be done. And sometimes we need to be the lone voice in the wilderness, saying what needs to be said. It’s not going to make us popular. It’s not going to be comfortable. But what needs doing isn’t always popular or comfortable. It’s comfortable to leave things as they are. For many people, it’s better to stick with what you know than risk something new, because it can be worse. And it’s hard to realize that it doesn’t matter. Sometimes change is necessary. Sometimes the system is broken. And sometimes we need to speak.

We can’t wait for someone else to do things. We can’t wait for the system to be fixed for us. We are the eyes and hands of the Divine. If something needs doing, we need to do it ourselves. And it might not be comfortable. But if not us, then who?

Questions:
What do you wish someone else would do? Why?
If you were to take up any cause, what would it be?
Can you be a lone voice in the wilderness? Why or why not?

This is hard.  I fail at it regularly.  It’s almost impossible for me to concentrate on the here-and-now instead of focusing on the future or belaboring the past.

And sometimes that’s a good thing.  If I only focus on the now and never on the future, the future’s going to be a mess.  Some organization is necessary.  But there’s a difference between useful thinking and just spinning one’s wheels.  And there’s nothing wrong with taking that moment and being grateful for my success.

I try to remember that when the to-do list gets too long.  I have a son, and I do my best to be *present* in the moment when we’re playing.  I’m aware of hazards, of course.  I’d be a lousy mom if I didn’t pay attention.  But I try to not worry about the future.  Sometimes, the entire world can be contained in one inflatable kiddy pool.  And there’s nothing wrong, and a lot right, with that.

Questions:
What should I celebrate in my life?  My writing successes.  It’s SO easy to focus on the rejection letters and not  that I do have fans and that people do think I’m good at it.  I have a wonderful child.  I should celebrate my time with him, because everyone says if I blink he’s gonna be 20 and never here.  (but right now he’s perfect lap-size!).  There are so many things in my life worth celebrating.  It’s worth it to take the time and remember that.

Do I celebrate my successes?  Not very often.  I have high hopes and standards for myself, and it’s very hard to live up to very high standards.  It seems like I never do *enough*.  I need to accept myself for doing what I do and not measure myself against impossible standards.

How does our success change the Divine?  We are part of the Divine.  How we feel, how we react, changes the whole.  When we focus on the positive, we can make everything better.  When we focus on the negative, we can drag everything down.  Being realistic is important, but being joyful matters too.  We should celebrate what’s right about life and encourage the universe to bring about more of it.

It’s easy to get caught up in the daily struggle of our lives. We want things, we strive to get them, we strive again for something else. We live under pressure inflicted both from outside ourselves and inside. There is no life without that stress.

That stress can stand between us and the joys of life, however. We see only what we need to get done and not what we have done. We don’t take the time to celebrate ourselves for what we’ve done and who we are.

There is nothing wrong, and a lot right, with celebrating our successes and joys in life. Be they minor or major, they are ours. Some people may feel this is bragging, and I am not advocating that. But I am advocating that we remember ourselves as well, and be open to the things that we succeed at.

It’s easy to beat ourselves up for our shortcomings. But we are of the Divine, and we need to celebrate that. When we succeed, the Divine succeeds. When we forget to celebrate that, we deny ourselves and the Divine.

Questions:
What should you celebrate in your life?
Do you celebrate your success? Why or why not?
How does our success change the Divine?