Keeping the Sacred Flame

We are tool using people. It is what we are, what we do. You cannot remove us from our tools and still have humanity.

But what does it mean to use tools? It sets us apart from some of the other animals, but we are not the only tool users in the animal kingdom. And it means we innovate. Not only do we use tools, but we are constantly coming up with new ones. And it means that we are constantly redefining those tools and their relation to ourselves, too.

We wield tools. But sometimes, it feels like the tools wield us. We feel hostage to our communication devices, trapped by our computers and unable to escape the instant information available. We time our lives around our televisions and our laptops. And we refuse to disconnect from our tools because we define ourselves by them.

There is nothing wrong with tools. But we need to remember that they are the tools, and we are the people. We need to treat them with respect, but we need to make certain that they serve us, and we do not serve them.

We are not our tools. And while we cannot live without tools, and would make new ones the minute we could were we dropped naked on an island somewhere, we have to make sure the tools we have serve us and not the other way around. When we find our lives in service to our tools, we have lost perspective.

Questions:
What tools can’t you live without? Why?
What do tools mean to you?
How do you live your life in service to your tools? How can you stop doing so?

As we know from previous essays, recognizing that everyone is part of the Divine is a major tenet of FlameKeeping. Acknowledging the divine in others is only the first step though. As part of the divine ourselves, we need to strive to do what we can to improve the Divine around us. This task becomes difficult when we keep ourselves hidden beneath our shells.

Sure, even while keeping ourselves isolated we can still use our outward flames to improve the lives of our family and friends, but it isn’t always enough. We become more fulfilled inwardly when we are able to make a beneficial difference outwardly. This doesn’t mean that we need to go out and start a soup kitchen, or create a new charitable organization; (although those would certainly be good things) even the little things can make a difference. A kind word to a store clerk, volunteering for an organization, even helping someone with a stroller get through a door is a way to improve the divine in both others and ourselves.

While all these things might sound simple, they are unfortunately not done as often as they should be. If we don’t actually get out of our shells and use our outward flames, we not only rob the Divine of our potential, but rob our own inner divine of the benefits it deserves.

Questions:

Are you more isolated than you could be?
If you feel that you are more isolated than you could be, why?
What can you do outside of your shell to improve the divine around you?

I’m made very nervous by the idea that hope is “enough”.  Or even meaningful under some circumstances.  Yes, hope is something we all need.  If there is no hope, there is no point.  But it’s not enough to sit there and wish.  It’s necessary to then move forward with that hope.

I hope for many things in life.  The easiest example is my publishing career.  I want to be published, to be read, to be paid.  But I can’t just sit here and want it to happen.  I have to send out pieces for submission.  I have to put myself on the line for rejection over and over, knowing that the odds of acceptance are horrible, and yet doing it anyway.  I can’t say that I’ve done enough, because it’s only enough after it works.  Until then, if I have hope of success, I have to do everything I can to bring that success about.  Otherwise all I have is a delusion.

Questions:
What do I hope for, and how do I try to bring it about?  Well, I hope for publication, and I work my ass off for that.  I hope for FlameKeeping to be found by those that need it, and for that, I write about it publicly where it’s findable.  I should probably do more, but I don’t know what.  If I think of something, I’ll probably do it.

What does it mean to have active hope?  It means I can’t sit around and wait for things to happen.  I can’t just expect things to fall into my lap.  If I’m going to get things done, I have to do them.  If I want things to happen, I have to do what I can to make it happen.  I can’t change everything, but I can’t just give up and wait for someone else to rescue me, either.  Sure, it might happen, but then I’m stuck with whatever prince charming shows up.  And some of them really aren’t very nice.

How does active hope tie in with being of the Divine?  We are the eyes and hands of the Universe.  If we want things to happen, we have to go out and do them as best we can.  We can’t just expect some god on a cloud to fix things.  We are the agents of change.  If we want it done, we go out and we do it.  To do otherwise is to abrogate our place in the Divine.

Hope is often viewed as a passive thing. I have hope, so I can manage. I have hope, so I exist. But hope is an active. Hope is something you live out. You do not hope in a passive sense. Hope is a call to action.

When you have hope for the future, it is then necessary to go out and do what you can to bring about that future. You can’t wait for someone else to do it for you, because no one else has the vision you do. You can’t just expect for it to come about because you hope for it, because a passive hope is not enough. It must be an active hope and an active change.

When hope is passive, it is a betrayal of your vision. It is true that sometimes you have done all you can and must now wait to see if your efforts were enough, but this must be the last step, not the first. First you must have faith in the Divine and in yourself, and work to make your hope real. To refuse to act is to betray yourself.

It is easy to have passive hope. It is much harder to have an active hope and to be the change you wish to see in the world. But it is also much more rewarding.

Questions:
What do you hope for? What do you do to bring it about?
What does it mean to you to have active hope?
How does active hope tie in with being of the Divine?

What is it to see your family as Divine?  For me, it can be a problem.  I get used to people being there.  I don’t want to take them for granted, but sometimes I do.  And the more I’m having problems in my own life, the more I lean on the people around me without remembering to take them into account.

And that’s wrong.  It’s human and it’s natural, but it’s wrong.  I can’t take advantage of people like that.  My husband is Divine: as Divine as I am.  He is just as deserving of care and love as I am.  When I take him for granted, I’m completely denying both of our Divinities.  When I look at my son and see an appendage of myself instead of a self-willed creature, I deny us both a chance at true interaction.  Every time I see someone as a part of myself or only how they serve me, I rob them of their sacredness.   And that’s wrong for both of us.

It’s a hard thing to overcome.  I don’t always realize I’m doing it, and when I am doing it I’m already frazzled from other things going on in my life.  But it’s not right.  I have to live with love, not with need.  If I cannot treat them as Divine, I don’t really love them.  I’m just using them.

Questions
Who do I have a hard time seeing as Divine and why?  My husband, when I’m stressed.  I usually don’t have a problem seeing my son as separate, because I work very hard to make sure I don’t see him as an extension of myself.  But sometimes I forget to see my husband that way.  I get too concentrated on the things that don’t matter or are short term and forget what’s important.

How does it feel to see someone I love as Divine?  It changes everything.  If someone is Divine, I have to cherish them for who and what they are.  I can’t forget them as only what they mean to me and ignore what they need.  They are Divine.  I need to respect them for that as I want them to respect me.

How do I celebrate the Divine in my family?  I cherish my husband and my son.  I cherish the time I have with them and the fact that they want me in their lives.  I treasure every time my son throws his arms around my knees to give me a hug.  And I see them as separate people that have chosen to spend time with me and love me, not parts of myself that have no choice.  I must treasure them for who and what they are, not try to make them into what I want.  (though I also have to lead my son and do my best to make him grow up a good person).  And I have to love them.

It’s hard to look at other people and see them as Divine as well as themselves. Sometimes this is hardest with those we live with and see regularly. And yet, it is also the most important to remember that yes, our family is Divine.

What does it mean to see your family as Divine? It is to recognize that while we all fail, we are still special and sacred. We can’t take our family members for granted and simply assume they will do what we want. To do so is to trample on their own sacred nature.

Why is it so hard to view family as Divine? We see them every day. We know their flaws and their good points at least as well as we do our own. Sometimes it becomes easy to see these people more as an extension of ourselves and not individuals. We forget that they have their own needs, their own choices. We forget that we can’t force people into our mold for them.

If we forget to see those we are closest to as Divine, though, we trample all over their rights and needs. We forget to see them as the individuals we came to love in the first place, and see them only as extensions of ourselves. We need to see them as people, not as pieces of us, or we risk losing everything that makes them special in the first place.

Questions:
Who do you have a hard time seeing as Divine? Why?
How does it feel to see someone you love as Divine?
How do you celebrate the Divine in your family?